I've been doing some reading today. Looking at articles online about something that I was very curious about. This was brought about by the Tumblr, Douchebags of Grindr. Looking at that site, I saw a lot of ethnicity based preference.
"Not into blacks"
"Not into Latin"
"not into Asian"
"ONLY into white/Latin"
"Only into black/Latin"
Etc, etc, etc. If you are online, you've seen it. You probably have it in your profile. I do.
Now something that I actually noticed was that a great number of the anti-Asian profiles,
were... dun dun dun... Asian. And it was not done in any more of a polite manner than
no Asians.
So, I looked into this. Found articles about it. Funny that Asians being into Asians are such a phenomenon that it has it's own term. Sticky rice. I didn't know that. I've told this to friends before, and I'll state it here.
White guys get shit for only being into white guys.
Black guys get shit for NOT being into black guys.
Latins and middle easterns seem to have free reign.
And asians are usually not into asians.... but YOU better be.
I cant tell you, how many asian guys call me being racist for not being into asians,
hell most of you have called me that. But the funny thing is, I'll look at their profile and it says
"looking for white, black, latin, and middle eastern only" ... hmmm... what does that leave?
HYPOCRISY!!!
Because it is okay for them to do something that they condemn everyone else for.
"But Mindtrip! What about when you see a guy's profile say that he isn't into black guys?
Or if I guy tells you he thinks "niggers are ugly"?
You know, I don't give a fuck!!! You want to know why?
My sense of self is not so weak that a total strangers pre-emptive rejection of me
going to make me act like my dog died. Now, there was a time when I didn't have sex with black guys,
and I now blame that on vegas, and for some reason Las Vegas spawning gay black men that think they are the lost member of Destiny's Child. It's not even being femme, but being an overblown caricature of a sassy black women... white boys... some of you are just as guilty of this behavior, and most of you that don't even have the booty to match. And the thing is, you get them away from their "gurls", and they dont act like that, it's seems like this hive mind mentality, a face they feel the need to put on.
Once I got away from that, and away from the other extreme where they act like the second coming of 50cent, and you find the middle ground, the guy who is black, and is into men, and is himself, I found myself plowing a lot of black guys. And I'm glad I found that.
A friend once told me, on my first venture into LA's gay life that some men wont want me, based solely on my being black. He then added that I can either be pissed about that one guy in the club that doesnt want me, or I can open my eyes to the guys smiling at me because they think I'm cute. I carry that with me, and I think everyone should as well... what matters more, getting the last word on a guy who rejected you?
Or answering the first message from the guy that thinks your new pics are hot as hell.
Another comment I saw a lot was "Oh he says he's not racist because he has friends that are blah blah blah,"
Um yeah... friendship has a much harder and much more deeper criteria than looks. Who you are inside.
But some gay men feel that if you dont fuck someone, that you hate them. If that were true than gay men would hate women, and most gay men put women on a much higher level of importance than their fellow homo.
Are you a decent human being? You like UFC? You like working out? You like movies were stuff explodes? Can you explain the mechanics of the abilities of any 5 X Men that aren't Wolverine? Chances are we can be friends. Race, gender, and sexual orientation be damned.
Just happened to find your blog and found it interesting. I do disagree with your reason for why you dislike feminine men. I am a feminine man who generally acts feminine in all occasions. I find that other feminine black dudes don't approach me for friendship or sex because I am not putting on an act. I find that non feminine black guys don't approach me for friendship or sex because they assume I am putting on an act. I honestly have always found more acceptance among white people because they don't make assumptions about me. Most white people don't have a feminine gay men think they are Beyonce prejudice so they assume I am just being myself. Every non-homophobic black dude who has been forced to get to know me, through work or school, has commented on how refreshingly honest my personality is. I am feminine but not into whatever stereo-typically feminine things gay black men supposedly like. I listen to NPR, am into working out and love comic book movies, dramas and documentaries. I am into stand up comedy and mythology. Most gay black men automatically assume I am into the real house wives of Atlanta, fashion,and what ever else they assume queens like. I guess I am a little upset because while I want to love black people I find black men make assumptions about other black men more than any other group of people. I am not mad at you though. I also went through a non black phase but eventually realized that most black dudes are good guys. We just generalize way too much and thug acting and feminine black men get the brunt of those generalizations.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that I don't like femme guys. It's the guys that put on an act that I don't like being around. If you actually are more on the fem side, and that just is who you are, I would probably pick up on that self honesty in less than 5 minutes, but when its obvious that anyone is putting on an act, its comes off as insecurity at best, and dishonesty at worse. If you are who you are, than much love and respect to you.
Delete(Marvel or DC by the way?)
marvel all the way. i really only like batman and green lantern from DC
ReplyDeleteI'm a total Marvel Fan as well... I don't read anything from DC. Now if you and I met, we could easily chat on for hours about this, and I'd have a fucking blast with you.
DeleteI like yer attitude, man. So many of the black dudes who hit me up are so incredibly tentative about the are-you-into-black-guys thing, you can tell that they have really taken asshole treatment to heart. Asians seem even more cowed. Of course, predictably, I'm not typically all that into blacks or asians (although one of the hottest guys I ever got with was an *extremely* handsome black bodybuilder, and I used to fuck a hairy brazilian/japanese guy who was sex on a stick, so never say never). But this is mostly cuz my favorite traits are hairiness, big straight noses, dark hair that contrasts strongly with skin color, etcetc, things that asians or blacks rarely feature. I try not to be a jerk about telling dudes I'm not into them. But it's too bad more guys don't have your ego strength and confidence. Even white dudes!
ReplyDelete